


Broken

by natsora



Series: Rowan's Eagle [2]
Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect: Andromeda
Genre: Angst, Broken Bones, F/F, First Aid, Hurt/Comfort, Major Character Injury, Medical inaccuracies. Concussion, Seizure, Vomiting, Whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-05
Updated: 2020-02-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:20:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22573162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natsora/pseuds/natsora
Summary: What does Ryder do during shore leave? Spending quality time with her girlfriend Vetra? Check. But only in all the wrong ways. A trip out into the Eos desert gone horribly wrong.
Relationships: Vetra Nyx/Female Ryder | Sara
Series: Rowan's Eagle [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1624186
Comments: 2
Kudos: 34





	Broken

**Author's Note:**

> _Prompt fill for Passing Out From Pain for Jinto, Female Ryder and Vetra Nyx_

“All right, we’re here,” Ryder announced as she hopped out of the Nomad. 

“And what are we doing here?” Vetra asked, stepping out a little more elegantly than she managed. 

Eos was still hot and dusty, but the atmosphere had improved enough that SAM had informed them they needed to wear armour just to stand under the Eos sun. 

With a glint of mischievousness in her eyes, “I want a rematch,” she declared, jerking her thumb at the cliff behind her. 

Vetra’s eyes widened as she took in the height of the sheer face. “If I recall, I trounced of your butt the last time. And this one is taller than the previous one we climbed.”

Ryder raised an eyebrow and spread her hands. “Hence the rematch. This time… I’m coming out on _top_.”

Vetra’s mandibles flared suggestively. “If this leads to where it went the last time, Ryder. I approve.”

She grinned. “I’m glad.” Remembering what happened the last time they rock climbed, the kiss they shared at the top sent warmth pooling in her core. “It’s been so long since we have any time alone together, you know? Just relaxing.”

Vetra rounding around the Nomad to her side and pulled her into a sideways hug. “Thank you,” she said simply, pressing her lipless mouth against her ear, subvocals buzzing in a language she couldn’t understand. “You always are thinking of me and making me happy. I should do something for you.”

Ryder wrapped her arm around her lover’s side and savoured Vetra’s signature scent of gun oil and earthy sand. “You watch my six, you keep me safe. This is the least I could do. After all, I do win a prize at the end.”

“Huh, so that’s all you want?” Vetra cocked her head, lacing her three fingers between Ryder’s five as they walked towards the foot of the cliff. “Just a kiss?”

Ryder stopped short. Pulling out a roll of tape, she eyed Vetra. “Well since you put it that way… We will see about having more than a kiss once I get to the _top_.”

Vetra laughed, “I might not be human, but I’ve learnt enough to know the word “top” has a whole other meaning other than the obvious.”

She ducked her head to hide the blush creeping up her face. “Well, you could come out on _top_ and win instead if you prefer.”

Vetra groaned. “All right, all right, you win this sparring of the tongues. The faster you beat me, the faster you claim your little prize.”

“Little huh?” Ryder lifted her head, a smirk tugging at her lips. She was almost done taping her hands, she had no intention to injure her skin and tendons while rock-climbing. The time she had put into training would pay off in just a bit. “I’m not sure if you’ve heard that we humans pack a lot in a small package despite our size.”

Vetra laughed, a sound Ryder would never get tired of. “You talk big, Ryder. You’re on.”

* * *

Ryder did not intend to lose. Her pride was at stake here. She couldn't imagine it. Just months ago, with the threat of the kett grinding her down, Vetra dragged her out to rock climb. And it was then she finally admitted to herself what she felt for Vetra wasn't a fleeting fancy. And the laughter they shared in the time they worked together was the glue that held her fast. Even now, she could feel the press of Vetra’s mouth against her own. It wasn't anything like she had experienced before, being ace and aro herself. Vetra was the first person she felt a kinship beyond friends. It was a whole other thing. But with Vetra, she was her best friend first, lover second, but most importantly, Vetra accepted her for who she was, wholly and completely. 

Ryder didn’t intend to make the same mistake she did the last time. Climbing in her full armour without the help of jump jets or biotics was stupid. It was no surprise she lost, not that she minded. Today, today it would be different. She was dressed in loose pair of black pants that stopped mid thigh and a loose tank top. Her shoes were grippy, her hands and fingers taped up, she was ready to get the show on the road. 

“Are you sure you want to climb in that armour of yours?” she asked. 

“Worry about yourself, Ryder. And the same rules apply, no jump jets, no biotics,” Vetra warned. 

She chuckled. “You got it. First one to the _top_ , calls the shots!”

Vetra rolled her eyes. Seeing her adopting all manner of human mannerisms, made Ryder wondered if using her hands as a rough approximation to mimic a turian’s mandibles would be offensive. She had been observing Vetra for a long time after all. 

“You’re on, Ryder,” Vetra retorted, snapping her from her musings. “Three.”

Ryder reached towards her chalk bag, covering her hands liberally in white powder. Knees bent, she was ready. 

“Two,” Ryder counted. 

Head tilted slightly to look at Vetra, admiring her lean form and keen gaze on the cliff face. She couldn’t help the rush of happiness into her chest. 

“One!” Vetra shouted. 

And they took off. Vetra jumped and stabbed her talons into the rocks. With a quick pull of hands and push of her feet, she started climbing. Ryder stared and shouted, “Not fair!”

“I can’t help it if I’m a natural,” Vetra yelled down. 

“You have talons and a longer reach,” Ryder cried as she started her climb, moving quickly from hand hold to hand hold. “And… And that’s just not fair!”

Vetra’s chuckles were carried away by the wind. 

* * *

Ryder panted. She craned her neck and looked. Vetra was a good ten metres ahead. There was no way she’d win without her biotics, but she wouldn’t cheat. 

“Come on, it’s just climbing. One leg up, one hand up, rinse and repeat right?” she muttered under her breath. “It’s not rocket science.”

“It is not quite that easy,” SAM chirped up in their private channel. 

“Fuck SAM, a little warning next time.” She focused on the next hand hold and pulled herself up. 

“I’m sorry, Pathfinder. But Mayor Bradley sent you a mail reminding you the terms for the loan of the outpost’s Nomad,” SAM went on, not the slightest bit sorry at all. “It needs to be back at Prodromos by sundown.”

“Damnit,” Ryder cursed under her breath. “Tell him, I know and I will get it back to him in time.”

Half distracted by her internal conversation with SAM, she sought out a position to place her foot. With a grunt, she made the shift. But for a heart stopping moment, mere seconds before she released her grip on a hand hold to move, she lost her footing. 

“Fuck.”

Her pulse spiked, her heart thumped wildly against her chest. But her hands tightened their grip and it halted her plunge to the ground before it started. Suddenly the way the wind rippled against her skin wasn’t relaxing anymore. It was alarming. The rope trailing after her, held onto the cliff via anchors she had hammered in preparation the day before, didn’t look strong enough to hold her weight. 

“Hey Ryder, I’m almost to the top! Heh!” Vetra’s voice drifted down. Ryder couldn’t quite register Vetra’s words as she fought to return to herself, caught in a feedback loop of what ifs. “Are you all talk? Have you given up? Ryder?”

She shook her head and took a deep breath. It wouldn’t do to worry Vetra while they were clinging to the side of a cliff. She just needed a little time to fight the shakiness in her limbs. “I’m not giving up!” her voice came out pitched a little higher than usual. 

“Fine, fine, as long as you’re not going to tell me I’ve cheated,” Vetra replied. 

From the sound coming from above, it’s clear Vetra was climbing on, not suspecting anything was wrong. Ryder didn’t dare look, her eyes glued to the sharp plane of the cliff in front of her. 

Her arms were burning, her legs trembling with the exertion. “Get a grip, Ryder. It’s nothing unexpected. You’ve trained for this in VR.” 

The wind whipped her hair against her face, lashing against her skin painfully. Ryder counting breaths and clung to the tattered remains of her focus. Forcing herself to look down, she felt her mouth go dry. _Bad idea, bad idea._ She was tempted to close her eyes, but as her pulse roared in her ears, a wave of vertigo swept over her, convincing her it was a bad idea. 

“Ryder?” Vetra called down. “Are you all right?”

She took a deep breath and forced a cheer she didn’t feel anymore. Ruining the date was the furtherest thing she wanted to do. “Fine!”

“You don’t sound fine.”

With a heavy sigh, Ryder made herself looked up, seeking out the one thing that could anchor her. “I don’t think clinging onto the side of a cliff is the best place for this conversation.”

Even with the distance between them, Ryder knew her vitals were displayed prominently on the visor Vetra wore. _Just move, get to the top and you’ll laugh this off._ She set her jaw and scanned the face of the cliff. There, just within reach, was a pair of likely hand and foot holds. All she needed to do was to reach them. She couldn’t just stay where she was and hope for the best. _Got to make this work. Vetra’s watching._

“Check this out!” she said and reached towards the hand hold. 

Maybe it’s over confidence, maybe it was bad luck, maybe it was lingering vertigo, she couldn’t say. As she boosted herself up, her ankle wobbled, the rock she stood on broke away. Left with one foot and hand hold a piece, panic gripped her chest. Tightening her grip on whatever she had left, all the training she had got went out of her mind. She scrambled to find a fresh hand hold she could reach. Her heart lodged painfully in her throat was the only reason she didn’t scream in fear. 

“Ryder!” Vetra screamed. “Stay where you are, I’m coming!” Talons scrapping against the rough rocky surface, Vetra made her way down as quickly as possible, displacing smaller debris as she went. 

A shower of rock dust rained down on Ryder. Alarmed, she shouted. “Stay where you are! Be careful! I’ve got myself on a rope. It will be—”

Ryder’s finger tips couldn’t hold any longer, they slipped and she fell. A scream ripped from her throat. 

“No!” Vetra cried. She keened, shock, fear and anxiety all rolled into one. 

There was nothing she could do but brace herself. Then, the rope jerked her to a stop, five metres from where she fell. Ryder’s heart threatened to burst from her chest. A hysterical laugh bubbled from her lips when her lungs remembered how they were supposed to function. She heaved breath after breath into them. 

“I’m fine,” she muttered before remembering to shout up to Vetra. “I’m fine!” 

“Spirits, Ryder, that took ten years off my life!”

“I’m sorry. It’s just some bad luck.”

There was a telltale creaking. Ryder sought the source of the noise out. The anchor she had hammered into the rock face was bending. If one could bent, what of the others?

“Shit, shit, shit.” 

She needed to find a hand hold, she could no longer trust the anchors. Glancing around frantically, she sought for a way out. Vetra’s eyes widened. She started a frantic scramble down to reach Ryder. But Ryder knew there was no time. She had to—

There was a snap and she fell. Air rushed past her and all she could hear was Vetra’s cry. 

“Ryder!”

Distance got eaten up in mere seconds. The ground got ever closer. Heart in her throat, slamming wildly against her ribs, Ryder reached towards her core. With barely any time for a prayer to any Andromeda gods, she pulled on it. _Please, please, please!_ Fear and panic made her sloppy. It flickered, it flared, but it wasn’t coming like it should. 

The ground was close, too close. _No, no, no!_ She was going to die. This was fucking it. 

Blue flashed out, bright and eye searing. A barrier wrapped around her. And everything went black. 

* * *

Ryder peeled her eyes opened slowly. Her vision dimmed and flared like a torch running out of battery. Everything was hazy. Overhead, the Eos sun was mercilessly beat down on her. Hard ground and sharp rocks jabbed into her back, sharp and painful. A dull throbbing bass pulsed against her skull. 

_What…_

Her brain was a bag and her memories were its scattered contents. Try as she might, she couldn’t put the pieces back together. Grunting, she tried to get a better view of where she was. A voice came into her mind, ”Pathfinder, please do not move. I’m trying to manage your pain levels.”

_Not… good…_

Holding herself still, she breathed as she tried to master the fuzziness clouding her mind. She directed her eyes at something that wasn’t the white orb in the sky. A sheer cliff rose in her view, sandy brown and sharp, a middle finger to the Eos sun. A familiar armour glinted up high on the cliff, the figure was moving expertly down it. This shape she’d recognise anywhere, no matter how rattled her head was — Vetra. 

“Ryder!” Her voice was soft and far away. 

Ryder frowned. The cliff she was laying at the bottom of should have been answer enough, but her mind refused to pull the pieces together. Confusion intensifying, dread took up residence in her chest, and she tried to sit up again. 

SAM’s voice came through their private channel, “Please refrain from moving, Pathfinder. I’m trying to ascertain the extent of your injuries.”

_Injuries?_

Before her mind could form a question, she heard Vetra’s voice again. This time, much nearer. “Ryder! Please answer me!”

The high keen, laced with fear and anxiety, in Vetra’s voice struck something in Ryder’s chest. It clenched painfully. And she couldn’t help but heed the call. “Here,” her voice came out in a rasp, too soft, too low for even Vetra to hear. 

Ryder coughed, her body jerked with the motion and it woke everything up. The throbbing in her skull intensified. Pain like never before wrapped around her head, squeezing it in a vice. Everything from her neck down screamed in protest. Despite lying on her back, waves of vertigo swept over her as her guts roiled uncomfortably. Jaw clenched tight, sll she managed was a long drawn out moan. Whatever SAM was doing, it wasn’t working anymore. 

“Ryder!” Vetra’s call was loud now. “Spirits, please be ok. Please answer me.” Her pleas drifted down closer and closer. 

“Here,” Ryder tried again, before launching into another coughing fit. Her vision went white. Despite the agony that wrecked her body, there was one thing that lit her nerves on fire — her legs. They were twin spikes of electricity. 

“Ryder, do not move! Please stay still.” Vetra was now a shadowed blob rappelling down the cliff dangerously quick.

Gathering her thoughts enough to answer took a monumental amount of effort. But for Vetra, she’d try. She managed a tight smile albeit marred by a set of gritted teeth. “Not going anyway. I’m totally comfortable here.”

“Jokes, Ryder? Spirits, you’ll be the death of me,” Vetra coughed, it sounded vaguely like choked laughter. “Just hang on. I’m coming.”

“No better time for them,” her voice slurring as the edges of her vision darkened. “No hurry, take all the time you need. Do… whatever you need to do”

“Spirits,” Vetra’s voice quivered with tightly held back emotions. “Please try and stay awake for me. Can you do that?” she begged. “I’m almost there.”

“Ok. I’ll do… I’ll do that,” she sighed, eyes sagging as her vision greyed out at the edges. 

* * *

“Ryder!” 

And her eyes snapped open. Vetra was hovering over her, keen steel green eyes boring into hers. A gentle talon brushed against her face. 

“Hey,” Ryder gasped, re-arranging her face into a weak smile. “Pretty lady.”

“I’ve radioed Prodromos. They’re sending a medi-evac team,” Vetra reported. Her fear and anxiety was evident in her tightly held mandibles despite how much she was trying to remain professional. Ryder knew Vetra, she had spent months trying to figure out what she was feeling about Vetra. It wasn’t attraction, not in the sense most people knew them. But there was an affinity that stretched from the Milky Way to Andromeda, spanning 600 years and two galaxies that they found each other again. For Vetra to fall back into their role of Pathfinder and crew was telling. Vetra was coping with her panic by shoving her it away so she could function now and fall apart later. 

That meant something was terribly wrong with her. 

“ETA 30 minutes. SAM is managing your pain levels and keeping you stable.”

“That bad?” Ryder asked. 

“Pathfinder, you have fractured both ankles, tibias right up to your knees,” SAM spoke up from her omni-tool. 

“That explains the two rods of lightning I have in their place now,” she groaned. Pain seared up her shattered legs, and she could only whimper, fingers digging furrows into the hard Eos soil. 

Through her watering eyes, she could read Vetra’s shattering facade. Mandibles snapped tight against her face, stiff with dread as a low keen clawing up her throat. She grunted and reached up towards Vetra’s face with a shaking hand, brushing a finger against leathery hide and tough plates reaching towards the heart that felt so much. Vetra leaned into it, carding their fingers together. 

“Sorry, I fucked up.” Words were all she had to offer and even then they were hissed through a clenched jaw. 

“No,” Vetra held her hand and pressed her mouth against it. Ryder could feel the vibrations of her subvocals through it. “It’s not your fault. It’s…”

“Sorry,” Ryder mumbled. Then, pain flared, consuming her senses. 

“Pathfinder, I’m detecting an increased intracranial…”

Whatever SAM had intended to say faded in a flash of white hot agony. Pressure mounted behind her eyelids and there was no way to relieve it. Her vision tore and glitched at the edges as an electrical storm broke out inside her skull. 

“Ryder?” 

Ryder blinked, she tried to. Try as she might wanted to hang on, there was no hand hold, there was no belaying line. There was nothing else but the fall. 

And she fell. 

* * *

“She had a seizure. you said it yourself, she might be bleeding into her brain.” Vetra’s voice came out as a hiss next to Ryder. Ryder struggled to come all the way awake. Words were difficult to comprehend when her consciousness was tattered and frayed, difficult even with her best efforts to grasp at them. 

“We can’t wait!” 

Confusion and a low grade unease ate at her. She reached towards her only source of steadiness and comfort since arriving Andromeda. Finger twitching, brow furrowing as she blinked to clear her vision. Even with motion that small, it was enough for the pain to come crashing back. Waves upon waves of agony rocked her body as she whimpered. Her vision dimmed as breath shuddered through her lungs. 

“Ryder!” 

Through her slitted eyes, Vetra was a blurry shadow. Ryder tried to reassure her, but words refused to come as she barely held onto hard won consciousness.

“SAM, can’t you do anything for her pain?”

“I’m sorry Officer Nyx, this is all I can do. Her pain levels are too high,” replied SAM in the flat even tone. 

Ryder could feel Vetra’s trembling talon against her shoulder and it grounded her in the roiling sea of lightning storm of a million knives piercing her legs and searing through her nerves. “What… happened?”

Vetra grimaced, mandibles flapping helplessly. “You had a seizure and SAM is detecting increased intracranial pressure.”

“I… don’t…” Words were too hard to manage and her question trailed off. 

“You may be bleeding into your brain.”

How much of her trouble thinking was a result of her injuries, how much was a result of the incredible white hot pain that threatened to undo her very being? Her thoughts refused to coalesce into a meaningful state. Vetra continued, her dual-flanged voice warbling unsteadily, “I can’t wait for the medi evac to get here. With a brain bleed, you—”

Vetra shook her herself, clamping down on the fear rising in her eyes. “No, I’ll have to get you back to Prodromos.”

Ryder nodded. She was in no position to decide, in no capacity to object. Her desire to calm Vetra, to tell her it would all be okay was moot. 

“But we have a problem.” 

She grunted, clawing through the mind fog that threatened to drag her under. “Problem?”

“I’ll need to put you on the stretcher.” Vetra gestured to her side. “Thank the spirits, Liam insisted we run first aid drills.”

Ryder craned her neck and saw the omni-stretcher deployed by her side. It was wide and long enough to hold an average sized turian easily. With detachable straps to hold a person still and secure. A mini mass effect drive allowed it to hover above debris and uneven ground. Even Ryder could see the only problem was getting her on it. 

“I’ve scanned you and verified with SAM. It is safe to move you, but I’m going to put the neck brace on for you. I’m not taking any chances,” Vetra went on, but Ryder wasn’t listening any longer. She squeezed her eyes shut, steeling herself for what’s to come. 

“Just… do it,” she rasped, forcing her mouth into a lop-sided smile, that looked more like a twisted grimace. “What’s a little ride on the stretcher?”

Vetra stilled, talons interlaced and clenched tight. Their eyes met, one pair pain glazed, the other dread and fear barely held back. “I’ll be fine,” she said, trying to instil conviction into her words. 

Vetra sighed and shook her head, affection clearly in the way her mandibles hung. “You and your shitty little jokes.”

“Admit it, you like them,” Ryder said, but her words came out garbled and odd. She frowned. 

The unplated hide of Vetra’s neck turned ashen as her mouth plates clamped shut tightly. Ryder didn’t like that expression on Vetra’s face. She had only seen it once, when Sid got in big trouble, when Vetra feared the worse for her sister. And now it’s directed at her. The pit of her stomach fell out. 

“SAM, are you managing her pain levels?”

“Yes, Officer Nyx. I’m dulling her pain receptors.”

Vetra turned back to her, neck brace in her hands. “Hold still.”

“I’ll try.” 

And Ryder did. The brace scarped against the back of her head as Vetra fed the material under her neck. The rest wrapped around the front. Her chin was cupped by the brace holding her neck completely still.

“Are you comfortable?”

She grunted, the brace wasn’t, the situation wasn’t, the way Vetra worried wasn’t. But if it helped Vetra feel better, she’ll endure it. 

“I’m going to have to roll you onto it, carrying you will be unwise,” Vetra warned. 

“Ok.”

Ryder squeezed her eyes shut, body already tensing for the pain that laid behind that simple motion. 

“I’ll recommending splinting the Pathfinder’s legs before moving her,” SAM chirped up. 

“Oh fuck. Yes. I should have done that.” Vetra drew away, rushing back to the Nomad for more supplies. 

Ryder was instantly colder without her by her side. But at the same time it afforded her some privacy with SAM. She breathed shallowly, gathering her thoughts through the pain. SAM was an AI in her head, he could gather what she meant easily enough. “How bad?” 

“It is not good Pathfinder. You require immediate relief of pressure in your skull. Your broken legs are the least of your worries.”

“Thought so,” she sighed. “Tempest?”

“Yes Lieutenant Harper is recalling Dr. T’Perro. She should be arriving at Promodros in a few hours.”

“Too far…”

SAM kept silent for a moment, insignificant in an organic but significant for an AI. 

“Don’t speak that way, Pathfinder. I wish I can do more for you.”

Ryder took a deep breath and pain flared. It was instantly temped down. SAM’s work, no doubt. “You’re doing a lot.”

Vetra came bustling back with a couple rolls of splint tape. “I’m going to start with your ankles.”

Ryder nodded, her breath coming sharp and fast now. Vetra pulled the gloves off her hands, soiled by the climb. She sterilised them carefully. “Don’t worry, these are not open breaks. But it’s still not going to be pleasant.”

“Broken bones rarely are.”

Vetra didn’t reply. And Ryder’s shitty jokes had dried up, all she could think about was what’s coming. Vetra pulled on a pair of clean medical grade gloves. All it took was a gentle shifting of her ankle to slip the SAM splint under it, and she was undone. 

Ryder cried out, sharp and wordless. A noise of utter agony as fire licked up her leg. Fingers curling the ground, nails scoring white streaks into hardened rock. Vetra didn’t speak, waves of anxiety rolled off her, but she didn’t slow or hesitate. To waver was to prolong pain, to dither was to cause suffering.

Ryder didn’t remember much, but the grinding of the broken ends of her bones against each other. She vomited and coughed, jerking and bucking as she emptied what little she had in her stomach. There was nothing to hold onto but Vetra’s apologetic and anxious keen. 

She came back to herself, finding Vetra was cleaning the remnant of sick from her face. An unspoken question buzzed in Vetra’s subvocals, but Ryder understood all the same. “I’m fine,” she lied, a baldfaced lie, one that nobody believed. 

Vetra took a deep breath, brushing Ryder’s sweat slick hair from her face. “I still have to do your other leg, but we can take a break.”

Pale and shaking but Ryder shook her head. “Not going to get any easier if we wait.”

Her lover’s eyes were hooded. The fear of causing more hurt warred with her need to get Ryder back to the outpost. Ryder just breathed, she did not relish what was to come. A body could only take so much before it slid into an odd sensation of numb pain. But her body refused her that mercy. 

The sharp noise of a splint tape ripping filled her ears. Ryder forced her breathing to slow, but it did nothing to stave off the dread. The fear made her want to vomit all over again. Vetra put a gentle hand on her shoulder, jerking her out of her stomach clenching anxiety. No words needed to be exchange, not between them, not after all that they had been through. It went beyond what regular girlfriends would go through in two lifetimes. Life and death, combat and injuries and saddled with a mission to save the cluster. 

Guilt and shame slammed into Ryder’s gut so hard she felt the air rushed out of her lungs. This was supposed to be a happy date with Vetra. But she had panicked and ruined not just the day but her legs and body. She fucked it all up. Rock climbing had been a selfish desire to impress Vetra. She put herself in harm’s way when people were relying on her to find them a golden world. What would her mother say if she knew? 

“Rowan!” 

Her name was wielded like a slap across her cheek. Suddenly, she found air wouldn’t come and her chest heaving painfully quick. 

“Breathe, in and out,” Vetra’s hand tugged hers to press against gently their chest. Under her palm, she could feel the solid thud of a heart, the steady rise and fall of a chest. “Follow mine. In and out.”

Vetra’s steel green eyes bored into hers. A keen wasn’t just shimmering through the air, it was vibrating down Ryder’s arm. “I’ve been calling and calling and you just weren’t responding. I thought…” She looked away, trying to master her emotions before it overwhelmed her, pulling her mandibles in so tight it looked like it hurt. 

“You were hyperventilating, what happened?”

“I…” Ryder couldn’t explained how she had effectively fucked everything up. She shook her head. “No, just do it. I don’t want to be here anymore.”

Vetra nodded. She shifted Ryder’s leg to displace the sand and debris from under it, sending shooting pain up Ryder’s back. Broken fragments in her leg tearing holes through muscles and tendons. Ryder’s breath hitched, her jaw clenched, but she nodded for Vetra to continue. As the tape was slipped under her leg, sweat poured from her forehead and she groaned, eyes closing to fight waves of vertigo and nausea. 

This had got to be as bad as it’d get right?

Fire ignited in her leg as the tape was wrapped around her knee, holding it stiff and tight. A cry burst through her clamped shut lips. “No, please, stop!”

Apologies tumbled from Vetra’s mouth, but her hands never stopped working. It wasn’t going to get any easier, any better. By the time she was done, Ryder was crying, trembling and begging for mercy from gods that wouldn’t listen. “I can’t, I can’t do this, Vetra. Please, please, please.”

Vetra held herself tight, but her mandibles were flapping helplessly, the only thing that betrayed her. She tried to sooth Ryder even as her heart was breaking in her chest.

“Intracranial pressure increasing,” SAM informed. 

And Vetra stilled at those words. Ryder watched as emotions flickered in Vetra’s eyes, fear, panic, dread before it was shuttered behind a mask of professionalism. “Ryder,” she barked. “We cannot wait. I’m going to carry you onto the stretcher. Then I’m going drive you to Promodros. I don’t care if you curse me for doing this. But I’m not going to sit and watch you go through another seizure or die!”

Ryder lay on her back completely at the mercy of Vetra. Try as she might to hold still, knowing Vetra meant well, knowing it was all for her sake, she couldn’t tolerate the pain. It was too much. SAM was no help. Her legs throbbed like two bombs about to go off, her head pounded so hard she couldn’t think. 

Mandibles grimly tight, shoulder set, Vetra’s cupped her face, “I’m sorry.”

Ryder cringed away as Vetra reached towards her. The hurt in Vetra was a visceral blow to her chest but if applying the splint tape was this bad, what about moving? 

“Sorry, I shouldn’t have…”

“No, it’s fine,” Vetra’s tone was anything but. “Brace yourself.”

And Ryder did. But no preparation would have sufficed. Vetra lifted her as gently as she could. But it was like a dam breaking, pain flooded out, filling her to the brim and overflowing. 

Ryder screamed. It was a sound devoid of sense and control. The sharp cry faded into soft whimpers and tumbling into raw and hoarse pleas and begging. Her nerves were lit on fire, burning her from the inside out. Her vision turned white, all senses faded leaving only agony and suffering. But through it all, she held herself as still as she could, allowing Vetra to move her as quickly and efficiently. 

The darkness crawled along the edges of her vision. Vetra’s face flickered in and out as her voice finally failed and faded. Hand quivering, Ryder reached out towards Vetra as she took shuddering breaths, trying hard to cling onto consciousness. Vetra leaned into her hand, whispering, “I’ve got you.”

It was permission granted. She was a puppet with its strings cut abruptly. The darkness surged upwards and closed in around her, dragging her ever deeper into oblivion. 

* * *

An incessant beeping filled Ryder’s ears. She groaned but found her voice stuck in her throat. It wasn’t just her voice trapped there, something hard and stiff was lodged in it. Panic seized her as she tried to breathe, hands jerking towards the hard tube between her teeth to yank it out. The beeping grew louder, shrill even, as she coughed and choked. 

There was a shifting beside her, but Ryder couldn’t see anything beyond the panic. A dull tone sounded somewhere beyond her field of vision. Her focus was wholly on the tube. But as her hands took hold of it the tube, familiar talons stilled them. Gently, they peeled her vice like grip away. Vetra slid into view, her plates dull and eyes shot through with blue. 

“Ryder, Ryder,” she said soothingly. 

Ryder coughed and jerked, eyes wild and wide as her breath grew short and shallow. 

“Please, calm down,” Vetra begged, she shifted as close as the bed allowed. Tugging one of Ryder’s hand, she placed it against her throat. “Feel this. Feel my voice, Rowan. Come back to me.”

It was like a shroud parting and sun beams piercing through, throwing fear and panic back into the corners where they belonged. Her pulse no longer fill her ears as her heart slowed to its normal rate. She blinked rapidly. Vetra brushed a talon along her cheek, tracing the edge of her jaw. Mandibles fluttered with weariness and relief, she said, “You had surgery. They had to drill a hole into your skull to relieve the pressure and you were put into a medically induced coma. I had been waiting for days for this moment, Rowan.”

Ryder nodded, hands grasping for Vetra’s, praying touch was enough to communicate how sorry she was. Vetra pressed her forehead against hers. But the contact was light, it was gentle, it was tentatively. 

“You need to rest, you need to recover,” Vetra whispered against her ear.

Ryder nodded weakly, her energy already fading. Lexi swept in. Omni-tool at the ready as orange light swept over her body. Lexi with the help of a few nurses extubated Ryder. But the tube had taken a toll on her voice and throat. There was a burning inside that no amount of water could ease. Sucking on ice chips could only get her so far. 

“Ryder, I need you to sleep. You’ve just gotten through an extremely traumatic event. Your body needs the rest. Do not force me to come in and sedate you,” Lexi warned. “The surgery for your legs was successful, but you’ll need extensive physiotherapy to regain full function.”

Ryder nodded. She had expected as much. Wriggling her toes was about as much as she could manage right now. But it didn’t bother her, she survived. And it was all thanks to Vetra. 

“I will make sure she gets her rest,” Vetra said.

Lexi sighed. “You should be resting too, Vetra. But I know no amount of me saying it is going to make it happen. But you,” finger jabbing at Ryder, “will regret it if you don’t rest. Your body isn’t ready for any kind of exertion.”

Ryder nodded, waving her hand to indicate that she understood. Lexi sighed and left, leaving them alone again. 

“Rest, Rowan,” Vetra persuaded. “You heard Lexi.”

Instead of closing her eyes, Ryder shifted, trying to sit up so she could look at Vetra properly. Vetra growled with displeasure but tapped at the controls at the side of the bed. The bed shifted and put her into an inclined position. Ryder could see the omni-cast that encased her legs from mid thigh-down to her foot. A tentative hand touched her head to find heavy gauze wrapped around it. 

“Am I bald now?” she asked, swallowing against the pain riding up her throat as her fingers explored the new landscape of her head. Slight pressure only woke a dull ache. The painkillers must have been good to not have a pounding headache after what’s effectively brain surgery. 

Vetra looked at her, eyes flat and unamused. “Really? We’re starting with the shitty jokes already?”

Ryder smiled, it was the best she could manage. “Admit it, you miss the jokes.”

She buried her face into her hands and groaned, subvocals buzzing. Then, she went still, remaining in the hunched posture. Something had shifted. There was a rigidness to Vetra’s form as if she was barely holding herself together. A keen low and mournful escaped from the tight ball Vetra held herself in. The noise sliced through Ryder’s heart. Hand grasping hand, fingers interlacing talons, she squeezed as hard as her weakened body allowed. 

“I’m sorry to put you through all this. I’m…”

Vetra eased her arms around her chest, wrapping Ryder up in her warmth, her scent, her very presence. Tears welled up and ran tracks down her face. “You scared me, Rowan. You really, really did. You could have died. You could have…” Words dissolved into wordless keens filled with pent up grief. 

“I’m sorry.” All Ryder could offer were feeble, useless empty words. 

They held onto each other like two floating flotsams in a raging ocean, tossed about by the waves that threatened to swallow them whole or break them asunder. As Ryder’s tears stopped, Vetra’s keens subsided, chest heaving and shudders wrecking through their bodies, Vetra whispered, “Yes, I did miss your stupid jokes.”

Ryder chuckled. “I knew it.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up on my [Tumblr](https://natsora.tumblr.com/). Kudos and comments are always welcomed!


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